The Upward Climb

So, I didn’t drink wine last night.

Night 1.

It took me about three hours to finally fall asleep. I guess I’ve gotten so used to wine being my crutch that I don’t really know how to fall asleep without it anymore. Hell, half the time I don’t even remember going to bed.

I also joined a gym. I’ve gone five days in a row now. What’s crazy is that I was still dragging myself there after drinking two bottles of wine a night for almost two weeks straight. Looking back, I can’t believe I’ve let things get to this point.

I’m really hoping that writing all of this down keeps me accountable. Maybe if I put it out there, I’ll stop pretending everything is fine and actually follow through this time.

Day 2.

I woke up happy that I didn’t drink – I need to remember this feeling. Tonight I will be making Cajun pasta and watching horror movies. I hope that I can fall asleep faster, but no pressure. I find myself already trying to talk myself into adding wine into the mix, but I’ve fallen for that 1 billion times before. I like to bargain with myself. I like to say things like “I’ll start Monday of next week, so do what you want till then”.

I don’t want to do that anymore.